My Alligator Purse

Contributed by Laura (KS)

Hi. It’s Laura. I just wanted to tell you that you have been on my mind all week and I have been praying for you as this weekend approaches. Having spent months terrified that I would lose the twins, I can only imagine the depth of your grief and my heart hurts for you. I hope you get through this anniversary okay and that the day you have planned with your family will help ease the pain if even just a little.

I also wanted to tell you that I think you are the reason my twins made it. When I went in at 21 weeks, the doctors did an internal exam and said all was good with my cervix and gave me the okay to fly and go on vacation. I remembered a post you made once cautioning me of the risks of twin pg. It made me just paranoid enough to ask for an internal ultrasound to check the cervix. Well, my cervix had already gone from a 4.0 to a 1.8 – and I was only halfway there. The doctors flipped out and put me on strict bed rest. I canceled my trip and spent the next 4 months with my feet up. I shudder when I think of what could have been. So thank you. I really do owe you an enormous debt. I often think of that when I look at the girls. I send a prayer of thanksgiving that God sent you here to help me.

I know nothing can make this week any easier for you. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and thanking you.

I pray that this week is as gentle as possible on your heart.

Love,
Laura

Contributed by Belinda (KS)

Some people would see Sara Joy as just a 22 week fetus and wonder why we grieve so much over our loss of her. They do not see the 3 yrs of blood, sweat, tears and the dream she was. We lost our precious 3rd daughter. Stephanie and April lost their baby sister.
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Contributed Anonymously

I woke up on Tuesday with bad cramps and spotting and pretty much knew what was happening. So I called my doctor. Only I don’t have a doctor, I have an HMO. So I actually called an advice nurse, who advised me to go to urgent care. I went to urgent care. They saw me right away and the nurse did a urine pregnancy test, which came back negative.

Here’s my first question: Is it too much to ask that when a woman is losing the baby that she has waited her entire life for, that she has endured months of invasive tests and procedures for, that she has been celebrating and loving and dreaming about for a few short weeks, is it too much to ask that her husband be called to come help her? Because apparently it is. The nurse informed me that she could not access his medical records without his permission. My cell phone was dead, my baby was dead, and they don’t have any way of contacting my next of kin.
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This was written in response to a Dear Abby letter in which Abby suggested the coworker speak to a supervisor about a lady who chose to display a picture of her deceased child on her desk. Abby mentions that it is inappropriate to have such pictures displayed at work.

Dear Abby,

I am writing in regards to your February 5, 2007 response to Appalled in the Midwest. Personally, I am shocked and appalled not
only by the ignorance of the writer, but by the fact that you have written a response that was so inappropriate and so hurtful and
harmful for the millions of families who have suffer a pregnancy or infant loss.

Years ago it was socially acceptable for people to ignore the loss of a baby. In fact, the thinking of the time was it would be best
for everyone involved to forget about the baby and move on, if you ignore what happened, all the pain would go away. We now know that type of thinking was not only wrong, but caused great damage and suffering for everyone involved. This type of thinking, along with the ideas of the writer and your response, are long outdated, and again, hurtful and harmful or the millions of families who have suffered a loss.
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This was written in response to a Dear Abby letter in which Abby suggested the coworker speak to a supervisor about a lady who chose to display a picture of her deceased child on her desk. Abby mentions that it is inappropriate to have such pictures displayed at work.

Dear Abby,

I was almost speechless to see your reply to “Appalled” on February 5, 2007. My first thought was not how sad it was that this woman had a picture of her deceased child on her desk but how truly infuriating the woman writing to you was. I was hoping for a nice reply from you educating the woman on infant loss and instead I felt slapped in the face by a reply that I know your mother, the original Abby, would never have written.
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