I remember being very detached the first twelve weeks of William’s pregnancy – not really telling anyone and making endless trips to the bathroom to check for blood. I even told God to take the baby early if it was going to happen because I didn’t want to go through labor again. It was a very depressing winter. I laid on the couch surrounded my tissues (I had cold after cold) watching feel-good movies and black and whites. I spent SOOO much time online obsessing about what could go wrong. It was such a dark time for me. Even worse than losing the twins.
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Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category
Getting pregnant so soon, was it right?
Thursday, September 6th, 2007William’s Birth Day
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006Around 35 weeks we started to get ready for our newest bundle. We washed clothes, assembled the bassinet, car seat, stroller and other gear. I packed my bag and was ready to go into labor at any time. After all, the others were early and it had been 10 months since my last delivery. I was ready.
At 38 weeks I wondered where the baby was. Well, he was obviously in my belly, but when was he coming out. I was having braxton hicks semi-regularly and was tired of wondering each day if ‘this was it’. The baby had begun to move less too. And after a frantic visit to L&D for an NST when he wasn’t moving one day and many other days of cancelled playdates so I could do kick counts I was just done being pregnant.
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34 Weeks Pregnant, All is Well
Wednesday, June 21st, 2006Its been an eventful pregnancy. Most of it imagined and emotional; the fear of early miscarriage. The larger fear of a second trimester miscarriage. I have stressed about killing the baby after spending an active day at Disneyland. I also entertained the irrational fear of the baby being a hermaphrodite and my most recent concern was about having a c-section because the baby was breech.
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Baby Earthquakes
Monday, June 12th, 2006I felt the shaking. My husband didn’t since he was walking at the time. At first I thought the cat jumped on the couch. But I couldn’t find the cat. Then I went to the local seismic websites to see when the latest earthquakes were.
So I spent 3 minutes finding the right site. Clicking on all the “recent” earthquakes to find the nearest one, a 2.0 nearly 2 hours away from us. Usually a 4.0 is even hard to feel.
I give up and close the site, thinking I imagined it. . . . . and there it is again!!!!! Another baby earthquake.
The baby must like strawberries. I hope the shaking settles down and I can get some sleep.
Preggo Brain
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006Today is a good day (see all the posts), but lately I have had such difficulty thinking, much less putting my thoughts into language. Just the other day I told my husband to “get the thing, in the thing, by the thing.” I finally gave up and just got the ‘thing’ myself.
So I want to apologize for all the bad blogs or non-existent blogs in the coming weeks. I am about 10 weeks from having this baby and my brain is all downhill from here.
Help! I have been invaded.
Monday, April 3rd, 2006When I was growing up I had to share a bedroom and bathroom with my younger sister. We would fight something awful. Screaming and yelling and destroying one another’s posessions. Then I got married and had to begin sharing a bed. Although I am more mature now I still have my share of fights with my husband over snoring, sharing the sheets, and cold feet (mine).
Having a baby is much more difficult than sharing a room or a bed. I am sharing MY body. The body that I have had my entire life. I get to put what I want into it and the only one who suffers is me. If I decide to stay up late, I can get by with just a few hours. But pregnancy . . . . its all over. The baby is in charge! How can that be?!
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Chocolate Raisins, which food group?
Thursday, March 30th, 2006My mom bought me a tub from Trader Joes. I started on them last night when I found them in her house. My surprise when she told me they were for me. I snacked all night long. Then at 6 am they were calling my name. “eat me, eat me”. They are disappearing, by the handfuls. I have decided not to feel guilty. After all I am getting my fiber and my fruit.
So I have decided that I am not *really* eating junkfood, just fruit . . . . chocolate covered.
The Level II Ultrasound at 18 weeks
Friday, March 10th, 2006I was seriously procrastinating all the way there. I took a shower as late as possible, put the kids down for late naps, and was just dragging my feet. It all started when I was trying to decide what to take with me to do in the waiting room – that’s when I remembered that last time I filled out my paperwork to join the local twins club.
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Pregnant – AGAIN!
Friday, January 27th, 2006Its hard being pregnant this time around. It is number four for me. No, not my fourth child, but my fourth pregnancy – my 5th child. My twins are waiting for me in heaven.
I spent the first 12 weeks terrified. I would check for blood on the toilet paper each time I went to the bathroom. Any little twinge and I would prepare myself for the worse. As I headed to my 12 week appointment I told my husband my ‘back-up’ plan just in case we had lost this baby too.
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