Friday, July 9, 2010

Broken Heart

Connor has adored his sister forever. I have never seen such a close bond between two people. My passive little boy first started hitting friends when they dared to touch sisters toys. Every day he says he wants our next baby to be a girl. When I ask him why he says, "Lainy Ann has been waiting for a long time for a sister and I want her to be happy." It makes my heart swell and hurt with how much he loves her.

This year is a big year for us. Lainy Ann is 7 years old and will be going to Arizona to visit my dad, step-mom, and step-sisters for about 5 days without us. I am very excited for Lainy Ann. She really needs some girl time and hanging out with my step-sisters (who are the same age as Lainy Ann) will be tons of fun for her. To make the treat much more special she gets to fly to Arizona with my step-mom. She is very excited.

I have been excited too. I am looking forward to the different dynamic in our house for a few days. Lainy Ann likes to be in charge and can be bossy, so it will be nice for just the 3 boys to be able to play together without being directed in their play.

But Connor is devastated. When I first mentioned it 2 weeks ago he flipped out and screamed at me about how he was going no matter what. So I stopped talking about it. I didn't want to make him anymore anxious and upset. This morning is 2 days before Lainy Ann leaves and she decided to start packing (my practical baby girl). Connor has spent the last hour in tears, begging and pleading and threatening and yelling. He even started packing his clothes. He is yelling at me for disappointing him and telling him he can't go. He is yelling and saying he IS going.

To put this in perspective, Connor is my calm easy going child. Tantrums are not something we see from him, Lainy Ann and William yes, but not from Connor. I honestly think he is heart broken. He can't bear the thought of being without her for 4 days. He has tried every negotiation he can think of and I don't think its over. He is my thinker, my contemplater. I expect its going to be a long few days until he can be reunited with his sister in Arizona.

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