Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Scott Bakula, take me back!

I look longingly at the pictures of houses on magazine covers. The perfectly dressed dining rooms, the carefully adorned coffee tables and the soft light on the house plant in the corner. I have always wanted a magazine-house; no clutter, no baby toys, or carpet stains.

Instead, my house resembles a maze. We walk through piles of boxes on unused furniture, bins of archived files or memorabilia we can't get rid of, baby clothes and toys 'just in case' we have one more, laundry baskets on coffee tables waiting to be folded, and still more piles of dirty laundry on the floor. Every square inch of our house is being used; as storage, a play area for the baby or the walkway. When we walk from point A to point B in our house it is the same path each time. There is no deviating. I feel like that commercial where the man walks around leaving the same footprints every day and eventually wears a path in the sidewalk, lawn and in his house.

I have tried for years to figure out where we are going wrong. I go through the boxes and purge only to go out the next week and buy just as much stuff. I'm not a shopaholic, in fact you won't find a single knicknack in my house, we end up with diapers, clothes, and new toys, maybe the occasional DVD.

So, why is my house is such a state of disarray. I have decided to blame 'the times'. In each drawer and behind each door you will be greeted by snakes of wires; black and white mostly. Some ending with a USB port and other designed for the wall. Beyond those are the remotes - I can currently count 1 that I use. With the advent of the universal remote we have just one. It sure makes our everyday life easier. But hidden away are 10 other remotes AND remotes for the game stations. Those are just the ones in the living room. We have 3 other gaming stations and their accessories in the bedroom.

I began to wonder if there has always been a problem for the homemakers of the world. If I traveled back in time and wandered into a 1950's home and opened their 'junk drawer', what would I find? A bundle of string, bottle caps, straight pins, and broken toys? Unfortunately the moms being rerun on tv at naptime don't seem to have this problem. Lucy, June, and Carol have spotless houses. You would hardly believe a family lives there. But what about real women, women who didn't know you would be dropping in and opening their medicine cabinets? I want their house to be a disaster, just so I can be excused.

I will continue to aspire to magazine-status. My mother's house should be on a magazine. On any given day the biggest mess is a few dishes and a stray catalogue, perhaps the mail is waiting to be sorted. But everyone in her house is over 5 feet tall and capable of picking up after themselves. One day it will be nice to display my favorite knickknacks or even a collection. It will be nice to take the china and crystal out of boxes in the garage. But while I am enjoying my crystal I will be missing the cries of "mommy" and full-body bear hugs that accompany the clutter.

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