Saturday, January 13, 2007

Induction, right or wrong?

My first two kids were born naturally. My water broke around 37 and 38 weeks and 12 hours later my babies arrived. The twins of course were induced since they were still. That took a long time since my body was not ready to deliver at 18 weeks, but it was uncomplicated.

But when I was pregnant with William I was a wreck. I had come to terms with his 'death' several times throughout the pregnancy; when I had cramping several times in the first trimester, when he would stop moving in the 2nd trimester, before every ultrasound where I thought the doctor would find his heart had stopped, and once as I frantically drove with tears streaming down my face to L&D when I was 38 weeks pregnant and he hadn't been moving regularly.

So when he hadn't come by 39 weeks I was an absolute emotional wreck. I had been cancelling plans for my kids just so I could stay home and do kick counts. My doctor was willing to induce me eventhough my body wasn't ready at all. I wasn't dialated and my cervix was barely soft. She promised me that I could stay in 'labor' for as long as it took provided the baby was not in distress. I wanted to avoid a C-section at all costs.

So on Friday at 8 am they started the cervacil. But William wasn't born until Saturday at 1 pm. It was a long labor, but I progressed at a good rate and was pretty comfortable. William handled the stress well. It was the most relaxing part of my pregnancy because I was able to listen to his little heartbeat.

So today I DO regret the decision to induce. I feel terribly guilty for "choosing" his birthday. Mostly because he was due on my 30th bday and his grandmother's 56th bday. I was born on my grandmother's 60th birthday so I feel that I somehow ruined that bond between the two of them.

I don't have an answer to the question though. After I lost the twins I realized that people have good reasons for the things they do and its none of my business. If a doctor, who has to pay a ton for malpractice insurance, is willing to do it then its probably safe for the baby.

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