Sunday, November 26, 2006

"Happy Feet" makes me Happy

Today my mother and I took all three kids to their first full-length feature film. This is actually their third movie; the first "Over the Hedge" only lasted 30 minutes. Lainy Ann was tired and wanted to go home and nap. Their second movie "Cars" was cut up into parts. Lainy Ann and Connor got so squirmy that they kept leaving with Grandma Margaret to go play, use the potty, whatever. They can sit through full movies at home, but the 20 minutes of previews makes the theater going experience too long. But this movie they sat through in its entirety. I think the popcorn helped keep them busy.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I'm an Auntie

We were the first of our friends and relatives to have kids. It was a rough road, as is any road when you are the first to travel it. But we have managed and the family has been ready to have more 'babies' for a long time. My sister-in-law is the next to embark on the journey. And we couldn't be happier.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

William's Baptism

Last September we delivered identical twin sons at 18 weeks. The Catholic Church's stand on the issue is to not baptize babies who are born still. Sadly, they were not baptized and did not receive a funeral. Instead a prayer service was held at the local mortuary. To add insult to injury the Catholic cemetary charged us a double internment fee since both twins were buried in the same plot.

Returning to Work after your Loss

I didn't have this issue since I don't work. My job is a "mom". Everyone tried to help and do things for the kids. In the beginning I relaxed and let the kids have special grandma time and didn't worry if things weren't being done my way. I finally blew up about 4 days post-partum. I yelled at everyone, I ranted and I cried. I didn't even know why. But once I started caring for them again I felt better. It reassured my purpose in being here without my sons.

I think its awful how society treats the death of a baby. If we had lost a spouse or a parent our workplaces would be willing to work with us for a long period of time as we became ready to return to work, but when a pregnancy is lost most employers expect us back when we are medically able, not emotionally able. Its very sad. So although I haven't gone back to a job outside of the home I think I have some advice I have heard given to others.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Lainy Ann can Spell

Over the weekend Lainy Ann turned to me at lunch time and said, "C-A-T spells cat". I was very impressed. She has been able to spell all of our names; Connor, Lainy Ann, William, Mommy and Daddy, but this was new. It was a word.

So on Sunday evening during dinner I am ready to show Daddy her new trick. I ask her to tell Daddy how to spell cat. She does. No prompting. He then asks her to spell bat. I look at her wondering what she is going to do. I only knew she could spell cat. We haven't worked on phonics. Well, she repeats the word, "bat" and starts to spell, "B-A-T". I have to tell you, right there I about peed my pants. with excitement.

They worked on a few other words too; rat and hat. She was able to figure out the initial sound and then follow it with the A-T. He also helped her to spell cup. Daddy was so excited that he announced we were having ice cream. And he scooped a bowl for each of us making sure to let Lainy Ann know that she was getting the most scoops.

Connor in Carlsbad

Last week the kids and I went to Carlsbad to visit my father and his family who were staying there for the week. I knew the kids would have great fun as they have two little girls, 8 and 4, that would play wonderfully with my kids.

Well, poor Connor was introduced to the differences between boys and girls. It wasn't anything specific but occasionally he would emerge from the bedrooms dejected with his head hanging. It was so sad. But so cute. Connor isn't used to be left out because he and his sister are inseparable. In addition, most of our friends have sons, so he isn't used to being around so many girls.

Pregnancy Loss in the Media

Carter loses his son in the fifth month of pregnancy

aired in 2005 (?)
Ginny loses her daughter in the fifth month of pregnancy. Terrible example of pregnancy loss. They do address the issue of grief well. But they don't address the delivery at all or the reason for the loss.

7th Heaven:
Lucy loses her twin sons. This is discussed cryptically. They don't talk about why, but the show does a good job of showing her grief process throughout the season.

Primetime Special: 2006

Grey's Anatomy
"Where the Boys Are" first aired November 2006
A patient falls and her baby dies. Dr. Addison Shephard helps deliver the baby still.
This is the most realistic depiction I have seen on television so far.

If you know of other television shows please email them to me so I can add them to this list.