In September
When cool breezes chase away the summer heat,
when children catch the school bus down the street
And the first fall leaves drift softly to my feet,
I will remember…
And, in September
When the skies turn from pale blue to cloudy gray,
And nothing we can do makes summer stay,
I will think of when you came…and went away.
I will remember…
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It started in August. I knew September was coming. Then it got worse during the Huricane Katrina anniversaries. I had been in Arizona visiting my father, still pregnant with the twins eating a dozen sausage a day. I prepared for my sons 2nd birthday, remembering all the difficulty I had had the previous year.
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Train seeing eye dogs in our home
Flip houses
Find an old red barn or factory and convert it into a home
Take a cooking chemistry class
Have a permanent nursery for emergency foster care for infants
Buy an RV and spend summers visiting national parks
You are two years old. It is hard to believe that two years ago our lives were drastically different. We had only been in this house for 2 months, your sister was 18 months old and still wearing diapers, barely talking. Your room was daddy’s office.
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This morning my son rushed out of his room for his morning diaper. All looked normal to me until I saw his bare butt! I convinced myself that he had simply taken off his diaper because it was so wet and uncomfortable. I quickly went to get a new diaper since I didn’t want a mess on the floor. But on my way into the room I looked for the discarded diaper. This was an easy task since we had just cleaned his room. There wasn’t a diaper in sight.
I finally found a perfectly dry diaper in his bed. How odd. Until I noticed his bed was soaking wet. I believe last night when he was fussing before going to sleep he took off his diaper. And all night long he just peed in the bed. I can’t believe he didn’t wake last night upset about the wet bed – but he slept right through it.
So this morning I have started the laundry. The kicker – I had just put clean sheets on last night.
Connor felt the need to visit the ER exactly 2 days after I was discharged. But William has had his fair share of “issues” since he was born too.
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As I started to have kids I never imagined that I would be the mother of boys. Instead I imagined slumber parties, baking, dolls, tea parties and everything pink. I had decided that I would have one son for my husband to pass on the family name, but I never imagined myself playing in the dirt with trucks and dinosaurs. And even worse, I will one day be a mother-in-law.
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My sons were born still almost a year ago. I am starting to get sad again although I have been “fine” for several months. Mostly I have been worried; worried that no one else will remember their short lives and worried that people will think I am selfish for mentioning them when I have such joy in my life with my other two kids and our new baby. (more…)